realduality:

I’m Tom Hanks and you’re not Hanks

How the fuck you going to stop Hanks

$8.5 billion at the box office

That’s top rank

My Band of Brothers got bands

We in the club and we flexin

Make a movie with your bitch Steven Spiel Rob Zemeckis

Boy I’m Hanksed up double cup

Higher than Jim Lovell was

I eat so many fucking shrimp

I’m a VIP at the Bubba Gump

My money long

That’s The Green Mile

My pockets ready to blow

My Wii Extremely Loud

Your girl Incredibly Close

Bitch I’m Tom Hanks

World in my pocket

Your life’s a bag of shit

My life is like a box of chocolates

Yea I got a Woody

Yea I hang with Barbies

Yea I live my whole life like it’s a Bachelor Party

My girls stay wet

Got the movies Splash in her cooch

My bitch a head turner

Your bitch just look like Hooch

Sally Field my side piece

Meg Ryan my boo thang

I’m with Colin I’m with Chet

So you know that I be rolling with two Hanks

Hanks, Hanks, bitch I’m Tom Hanks

In a league of my own

Bitch I’m Tom Hanks

Hanks, Hanks, I think I’m Tom Hanks

Meg Ryan on my phone

Bitch I’m Tom Hanks

Reblogged from realduality

fallontonight:

"A nursing home in Long Island is being sued for hiring male strippers to perform for the residents…But you know who’s most upset about the strippers is the residents’ families. They’re suing the nursing home. And this is real, these are the lawyers they hired…That’s like Carmen San Diego on the side, a Dick Tracy villain, a geriatric pimp in the middle, a woman wearing a backwards leather jacket, and the guy in the back looks like a blogger.”

fallontonight:

"A nursing home in Long Island is being sued for hiring male strippers to perform for the residents…But you know who’s most upset about the strippers is the residents’ families. They’re suing the nursing home. And this is real, these are the lawyers they hired…That’s like Carmen San Diego on the side, a Dick Tracy villain, a geriatric pimp in the middle, a woman wearing a backwards leather jacket, and the guy in the back looks like a blogger.”

Reblogged from fallontonight